volksdragon: (LOL)
[personal profile] volksdragon
Warning: This stunt was performed by a trained professional idiot , do not try this stunt on your own.

I pulled out of my driveway and got maybe 200 feet up my residential street before I saw a skunk, walking up the middle of the street, heading for my car. I slowed down, and it didn't make any move to get out of the road, wandering back and forth from side to side. As I got closer, I saw that it was a pretty small skunk, and had a YOGURT CONTAINER (single serving) wedged on its head up to its neck. It was totally blind, and wandering in vague circles in the road.

I pulled over to the side of the street, and started trying to call my town's Animal Control officer, only to discover that we didn't really have one. I spent five minutes calling around through a few city offices, failing entirely to reach any human beings. As I called around, the skunk continued to wander in vague circles down the road, ocasionally bonking the container on the ground and seeming to startle itself. A few times, a car passed us, and the skunk froze and arched its back, but had no idea really what was around it.

Finally, I realized no one was going to be able to help this skunk in any official capacity, and that if I left it the way it was, it was either going to be run down, or most likely suffocate once the temperature got up into the expected mid-80s. That left... hmm, yeah, me.

I turned the car off, closed all the windows, and got out. A woman across the street in a house saw me and came out and I stepped out of the car, asking, "Are you going to pull it off its head?" "That's my plan!" I replied. "Feel free to laugh if it sprays me."

I positioned myself very quietly in the path of where it's next circle was going to take it, and when it got about two feet away from my foot, I reached down and YANKED the yogurt container off of its head, and started RUNNING the other way!

Looking back, I saw the Skunk STOP, watching me, and then realizing it was free, turn tail and start gallumping off into the neighbors yard and some bushes.

The neighbor applauded while I walked back to my car, crumpling up the yogurt container to throw away later. I think I waved. All I know is my heart was thumping pretty good, I had that cool adrenaline high I love so much, and I figure I've added a few points to my Good Karma account. Besides, skunks are cute. :)

And I wasn't even late to work.
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