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I *DIG* the Claw
Nov. 28th, 2006 09:40 am| Your Monster Profile |
 Grim Professor You Feast On: Jack and Coke You Lurk Around In: Nude Beaches You Especially Like to Torment: Hipsters |
Nov. 28th, 2006
Oh, and my best Spam title of the day
Nov. 28th, 2006 09:42 am The Lord will ride Judah. Thou daughter of Israel and all
On Fark today
Nov. 28th, 2006 12:22 pmI actually put a cat in the freezer once.
It was my roommate’s cat actually and it would crawl through the heater unit between our two rooms into my own room. One night it kept crawling into my room when I was trying to study for a test I had in Jr. College. It got in about 3 times and it made me madder and madder (you know how cats get all on your books and stuff) so I put the cat in the freezer.
My friend called and invited me over to drink beer so I hopped on my bike and left to his house forgetting all about the cat. I got back several hours later, walked into my room, looked at my books and suddenly REMEMBERED THE CAT!
I rushed into the kitchen, opened the freezer and pulled out the cat. I held it to my face and could tell it was still barely alive.
I called the first vet in the yellow pages that had emergency service and explained the circumstances without actually saying it was me who put the cat in the freezer.
The vet said I needed to wrap and rub the cat in blankets to help warm it and then to shock the cat's system somehow. He suggested giving it some unleaded gasoline back when we had the choice of leaded or unleaded (the lead would kill the cat).
I was really poor so I rushed to the gas station and put like 25 cents worth of gasoline in a gas can and went back to the house.
I get back and get an eyedropper and give the cat a drop of gas and start rubbing it in the blanket. It kind of opened its eyes and looked at me. I gave it another drop and rubbed it some more and it suddenly jumped out of the blanket and went berserk. You know how you see cats run around the side of rooms in cartoons? I swear that's what it was doing.
It then stopped and sat on the carpet about 8 feet in front of me with a pissed off look in its eyes. Right then my roommate came home. Without notice, the cat ran as fast as it could RIGHT AT ME and when it got about 2 feet from me it suddenly fell over on its side and just laid there not moving. My roommate was pissed.
"What happened? Was it dead?"
Naw, it just ran out of gas.
It was my roommate’s cat actually and it would crawl through the heater unit between our two rooms into my own room. One night it kept crawling into my room when I was trying to study for a test I had in Jr. College. It got in about 3 times and it made me madder and madder (you know how cats get all on your books and stuff) so I put the cat in the freezer.
My friend called and invited me over to drink beer so I hopped on my bike and left to his house forgetting all about the cat. I got back several hours later, walked into my room, looked at my books and suddenly REMEMBERED THE CAT!
I rushed into the kitchen, opened the freezer and pulled out the cat. I held it to my face and could tell it was still barely alive.
I called the first vet in the yellow pages that had emergency service and explained the circumstances without actually saying it was me who put the cat in the freezer.
The vet said I needed to wrap and rub the cat in blankets to help warm it and then to shock the cat's system somehow. He suggested giving it some unleaded gasoline back when we had the choice of leaded or unleaded (the lead would kill the cat).
I was really poor so I rushed to the gas station and put like 25 cents worth of gasoline in a gas can and went back to the house.
I get back and get an eyedropper and give the cat a drop of gas and start rubbing it in the blanket. It kind of opened its eyes and looked at me. I gave it another drop and rubbed it some more and it suddenly jumped out of the blanket and went berserk. You know how you see cats run around the side of rooms in cartoons? I swear that's what it was doing.
It then stopped and sat on the carpet about 8 feet in front of me with a pissed off look in its eyes. Right then my roommate came home. Without notice, the cat ran as fast as it could RIGHT AT ME and when it got about 2 feet from me it suddenly fell over on its side and just laid there not moving. My roommate was pissed.
"What happened? Was it dead?"
Naw, it just ran out of gas.
